SUSPECT: MAN, HIS DOG N THE NUNS

There was once a man and his dog, whom were stranded on an
island. One day, the man was really desperate and wanted to have sex
real bad, so he went round the island, hoping to find a woman or
something. All he found was a wooden barrel. So with that, he poked a
hole through the middle of the barrel and screwed till he was satisfied.
Ever since then, he used that to fulfill his sexual desires.

One day, his dog, has the sexual urge too, so it decides to use the
method that its master have been using.

So the two of them used the barrel until they died.

About 50 years later, the island was founded by a group of old nuns
and they built a nunnery there.

One day the Chief Nun found a certain barrel which contained a
loadful of wax, so she took it and made them into candles. The candles
were then being used to light up the nunnery in the dark until one day,
a nun got naughty and decided to satisfy herself with the candles. She
throughly enjoyed herself from that.

However, 10 months later, she rushed into the Mother Superior's room
and said, "I've got to confess, I used the candle to screw myself 9
months ago and now I have a baby."

Mother Superior then replied, "You're more fortunate my child, I've
got a puppy..."

Little Johnny does again

A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.
The first little girl said: "My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman."
The next child, a little boy said: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."
And so it went until one little boy said: "My name is Johnny and my father is a striptease artist in a gay club."
The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher approached Little Johnny privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude in a gay bar.
Little Johnny blushed and said, "No, he's really a Business Development Director at Lehman Brothers, but I'm just too embarrassed to tell anyone."

Ultimate Quote for the day...